Getting communication between home and school off to a good start is an important step to ensure that parents and teachers are working together on behalf of the child. Here are some tips for parents on how you can support positive communication with your child’s teacher.
- Ask the teacher what method of communication is preferred and then use it. Some teachers prefer emails while others are using texting apps or web-based programs that organize classroom information and messages. Be sure to clarify what method your child’s teacher prefers and then learn how to use that method effectively. Ask for instructions from the teacher or school office if necessary. If your child has potential emergency situations (for example, allergic reactions) make sure that school staff, you, and other involved adults are clear on what method will be used in case of such an emergency. Setting systems up from the beginning reduces stress later.
- Frame communication in a positive manner. Use positive language that focuses on the child’s needs instead of language that demands responses from the teacher. No one appreciates being scolded or told how to perform their job. Making requests for accommodations, follow through, or problem solving can be first presented by stating what you notice your child is struggling with and offering ideas of how this has been addressed successfully in the past. Remember that parents and teachers are part of the same team for the child. The goal is to have a cooperative relationship, not an adversarial one.
- Teachers don’t know how involved you want to be unless you tell them. If you want the teacher to initiate communication about specific aspects of your child’s behavior, be sure to provide that information specifically. For example, if you are working on organizational skills at home and want to know each time your child fails to turn in an assignment, clearly (and politely!) make that request of the teacher. In some instances, a teacher doesn’t communicate an issue with parents because they simply aren’t aware that the parent wants to know. Some parents are more involved than others.
- Triage your communication. Every piece of information is not as critical as the next. Take some time to think about how critical your communication is before you hit “send” on the next email or text. Re-read your message and be sure that you have communicated in an objective and positive manner, not reacting emotionally or hastily in the heat of a moment. Be respectful of the teacher’s time and be professional in your communication – modeling what you would like to receive from the teacher.
- Let the teacher know YOU are an active team member for your child’s success. Finish conversations with the teacher by asking “What can I do as the parent in this situation?” or “Is there anything I can do at home to help this situation?”
Communication around a child’s needs can get heated and emotional, and understandably so. It’s important that we all stay objective and focused on what matters most – solving problems and supporting our children’s success. Starting off on the right foot will ensure you, your child and your teacher all have the best shot at a successful school year.
